Well today would be Monday, and I've been seventeen for three days now. It is going rather strong, but there are some weaknesses in how I feel about my faith. I gave the Senior High Pastor a phone call, and set up a meeting with him for tomorrow. I hope it goes well and that I can get a better understanding of what I should do. I enjoyed going to Church with Mark very much, and I plan on returning.

 

I haven't felt moved to follow my passions like this before. I don't feel right about some of the things I do and feel or say, but I think that mostly comes from my inexperience in Christ. I hope only to become closer to Christianity, and become a member of South Church.

 

I wish that I had gone to Church when I was younger. If I did, I don't remember anything from it; and from that, I take this as both a savour, and a revival of my faith. It is hard, and often I feel that I am not understanding something correctly, and perhaps that I am applying what I understood incorrectly. I only want to be a better person and to understand the Lord better.

 

I wish that I had ways to convey God in my everyday life more than I have already tried. Most days I have been spending my free time talking with others about how they feel about faith and religion, and thinking about how I react to things. It bothers me, because I feel I don't yet know enough to make my own decisions, and many people would rather I make up my own mind rather than take a liking to how they feel about the subject. I only want to talk to my peers and adult role models about what they think I should do, and if I am overlooking something, or looking too much into one thing and not another. It is all a confusing mess.

 

I'm trying my best to understand things, and this is a very new approach for me. I only hope that soon I find the right way. And somedays, I wish that the Bible had more power over people than it seems to (maybe it really does, and I just don't see it's effects on society). That is my worst fear thus far: that I don't understand something right, and cannot make a full judgement on the matter; or that the opposite of what I thought is really occuring. Point is that I need help, and I will recieve it from Christ in one way or another.

 

God Bless those who follow the Lord and wish for others to do so. God Bless you Mark, you know the reasons why I feel this way for you. No one can ever change the way I feel about these changes. Being enlightened and saved are the best feelings I have ever felt, even though they bring harsh cuts into my lifestyles. God channels His power in many ways, and there are quite a few people who have given me strength to stop my harsh sins, and to look for the guiding light. I cannot thank people such as you enough, and I wish there were more people that I knew like you. I am glad there is an estabolishment that can help me, because I never knew Church or Christ to be so helpful as it has been so recently.

 

While Christianity is newer in my eyes now that they have been opened, my eyes are still never fully opened. Everyday brings more light, and I hope to seen see enough to understand for myself.

 

Thankyou all, and God Bless those who know me and have helped me move upon these feelings. Lately - Cameron Austin Crump